Do I Look Like A Barbie Doll?

Kitty tired of getting treated like a kids toy speaks out.

Kitler

Speaking to the Purred Reich, Kitler seen here is clearly forming an army.

Gluttony

Not so cute when they're committing one of the seven deadly sins, are they?

Caught With Paw In Cooke Jar

It was only a matter of time.

Under Cover

Just one way the crafty little bastards sneak around.

Home Invasion

Petey the Pug's claims of "This is total bullshit!" fall on deaf ears as his once sacred home is now invaded by his natural born enemy.

Are kittens becoming too domesticated?

The days of hunting for prey are gone, as kittens become lazier and lazier they've become nothing but common street thugs!

Invisible Skis

Practicing for that downhill slalom.

Stink Eye

Yet another angry kitten, geez for supposedly being such a clean animal they sure's the hell don't like being washed much.

Kittens Hate Bathing

Don't look all sad just because we are washing your filthy ass. STAY OUT OF THE GODDAMN GARDEN and we won't have to keep hosing you down.

Hairy Potter

Harry has narrowly escaped death by Lord Voldemort, three times! He has seen and experienced things that make mere mortals insane.

He fought a fucking 50 foot snake and kicked its ass with nothing more than a dull pencil!

So you think about that while you site there looking all smug like you are all that and a side of fries. The truth is the most you've probably accomplished in your life is successfully burying a turd in your litter box.

Where the white women at?

Flashbacks

NAM was a tough time, no doubt about it but time to let it go man, just let it go.

Help I've Fallen and Can't Get Up

No shit you can't get up, you look like you jus t ate an entire side of beef.

How To Build A Kitten Trap

Start with a split raised platform. On one side put the food and in the middle the glass, now place the kitten on the opposite side and watch as it haplessly wedges itself like a sardine in your glass.

Hard Knock Life?

Do you have any idea what Orphan Annie went through? She didn't sit there from the comfort of her fluffy ass couch with her designer food and sorry ass looking pouty face. She was a cheerful, happy and jovial little girl who took a lot of shit but somehow always managed to turn it into chocolate milk. You know nothing of the perils of Orphan Annie.

Stowaway Kitten Immigrants

These sneaky little bastards are always coming up with new and imaginative ways to make it into homes everywhere. Remember, kittens are assholes, they're not stupid.

Kitty Reaction to Interview

When I politely asked this kitty for an interview, you know, so it can shed some light as to why they are all such assholes. This was the response I got. I felt like one of those innocent reporters about to get my ass kicked by Sean Penn.

I told you I would shoot your ear off if you didn't STFU

So don't look so surprised.

Suicide Bomber Kitty

Kitties have no compunctions about walking into a Starbucks and blowing you a new asshole as we can clearly see, next time you might want to put on something to try and cover it up, what a dumbass.

So if they get 7 virgins in heaven, let me do that math, that's like 800,000 fucking new kittens in just one year. Not only do they want to take over the earth but they want to overpopulate heaven too.