Asshole Kittens

Kitler

2011-07-29T15:04:00.000-07:00

Speaking to the Purred Reich, Kitler seen here is clearly forming an army.

Gluttony

2011-07-28T07:41:00.000-07:00

Not so cute when they're committing one of the seven deadly sins, are they?

Caught With Paw In Cooke Jar

2011-07-28T07:31:00.001-07:00

It was only a matter of time.

Under Cover

2011-07-27T07:28:00.000-07:00

Just one way the crafty little bastards sneak around.

Home Invasion

2011-07-24T15:56:00.000-07:00

Petey the Pug's claims of "This is total bullshit!" fall on deaf ears as his once sacred home is now invaded by his natural born enemy.

Are kittens becoming too domesticated?

2011-07-22T07:59:00.000-07:00

The days of hunting for prey are gone, as kittens become lazier and lazier they've become nothing but common street thugs!

Invisible Skis

2010-08-01T07:15:00.000-07:00

Practicing for that downhill slalom.

What they did we'll never know

2010-07-31T07:45:00.000-07:00

Stink Eye

2010-07-30T08:11:00.000-07:00

Yet another angry kitten, geez for supposedly being such a clean animal they sure's the hell don't like being washed much.

Kittens Hate Bathing

2010-05-20T13:35:00.000-07:00

Don't look all sad just because we are washing your filthy ass. STAY OUT OF THE GODDAMN GARDEN and we won't have to keep hosing you down.

Hairy Potter

2010-05-19T11:44:00.000-07:00

Harry has narrowly escaped death by Lord Voldemort, three times! He has seen and experienced things that make mere mortals insane.

He fought a fucking 50 foot snake and kicked its ass with nothing more than a dull pencil!

So you think about that while you site there looking all smug like you are all that and a side of fries. The truth is the most you've probably accomplished in your life is successfully burying a turd in your litter box.

Where the white women at?

2010-05-19T08:19:00.000-07:00

Flashbacks

2010-05-18T11:59:00.000-07:00

NAM was a tough time, no doubt about it but time to let it go man, just let it go.

Help I've Fallen and Can't Get Up

2010-05-18T11:17:00.000-07:00

No shit you can't get up, you look like you jus t ate an entire side of beef.

How To Build A Kitten Trap

2010-05-18T06:59:00.000-07:00

Start with a split raised platform. On one side put the food and in the middle the glass, now place the kitten on the opposite side and watch as it haplessly wedges itself like a sardine in your glass.

Hard Knock Life?

2010-05-17T14:06:00.000-07:00

Do you have any idea what Orphan Annie went through? She didn't sit there from the comfort of her fluffy ass couch with her designer food and sorry ass looking pouty face. She was a cheerful, happy and jovial little girl who took a lot of shit but somehow always managed to turn it into chocolate milk. You know nothing of the perils of Orphan Annie.

Stowaway Kitten Immigrants

2010-05-17T12:23:00.000-07:00

These sneaky little bastards are always coming up with new and imaginative ways to make it into homes everywhere. Remember, kittens are assholes, they're not stupid.

Kitty Reaction to Interview

2010-05-17T09:13:00.000-07:00

When I politely asked this kitty for an interview, you know, so it can shed some light as to why they are all such assholes. This was the response I got. I felt like one of those innocent reporters about to get my ass kicked by Sean Penn.

I told you I would shoot your ear off if you didn't STFU

2010-05-16T20:20:00.000-07:00

So don't look so surprised.

Suicide Bomber Kitty

2010-05-16T17:43:00.000-07:00

Kitties have no compunctions about walking into a Starbucks and blowing you a new asshole as we can clearly see, next time you might want to put on something to try and cover it up, what a dumbass.

So if they get 7 virgins in heaven, let me do that math, that's like 800,000 fucking new kittens in just one year. Not only do they want to take over the earth but they want to overpopulate heaven too.

Gay Kittens Offend God

2010-05-15T08:40:00.001-07:00

Gay kittens are an abomination, the Bible clearly states that one kitten shall not lie with another. These kittens are clearly flaunting their gay homosexuality with a flaming devil may care attitude.

Kittens Resort to Eco Terrorism

2010-05-15T08:34:00.000-07:00

In a bitter attempt to flood this innocent human's bathroom, this kitten with an obvious chip on its shoulder resorts to eco terrorism. Why do kittens hate the planet?

Identity Chrisis

2010-05-15T07:22:00.000-07:00

So you want to run around your little prairie and live in your little house? You look like you might be a little uncomfy in that getup, could that because YOU ARE A CAT and cat's don't wear fucked up little Laura Ingles costumes.

Creepy Marimba Playing Robot

2010-05-14T21:50:00.000-07:00

I'll get back to my campaign against asshole kittens soon enough but this, well this is just fucking creepy. Check him out getting down with his bad self. Did he just look back at the rest of the band to see if they were getting their funk on too?

This one (below) is way more realistic, where the robot is looking at this dipshit like he's an idiot fucking around with his iPhone for the first half of the video.

Kitty Porn Ring Busted

2010-05-14T12:56:00.000-07:00

In a recent raid that sent the residents of trash can alley scattering in all directions, police confiscated several laptops and rounded up 147 cats, "that's my cousin's computer, not mine" exclaimed one kitty with an angry hiss as he was hauled away.